Never ever surrender your individuality or your uniqueness because this will lead to the loss of the one thing you truly own and possess in this world. Your Principle is the thing which prevents you from becoming toast.
When you figure out how to be yourself and you've brought yourself into alignment with the cosmos, and you've discovered that specific frequency of energy out of which you vibrate and resonate to others, it's an incredibly liberating experience. This is actually what enlightenment, or as the Buddhists or the Hindus call nirvana, is actually all about. It's an experience you go through, rather like a Near Death Experience, or an out of the body experience, and you don't even have to think about it, or consider it, because you feel it, you sense it, and you know it just is.
You know it is, because you recognize all the signs of the experience. Things start happening and falling into place without you even thinking about them or doing anything about them. People come into your life and start appearing before you have even figured out why. You connect to people easier. You start to understand things differently, see things much clearer, and everything just starts to flow.
The whole point of living is that you somehow try and find the ultimate connection between you (the individual) and the universe (the totality) which is what all the religions, the philosophies and spiritual movements in the world are alluding to. While this may seem grandiose it actually isn't, because the universe is much simpler than everything else you have to deal with in life, such as other people, society, and even who you are and how all the different parts of you and your life all connect and fit together.
You see as we pointed out in Being yourself you are already born complete, and you already fit in neatly with the grand scheme of things in the cosmos, because when you were born (or even before) you are a part of the universe, a part of the Earth's biosphere, the ecosystem, a member of the human species, and so on and so forth all the way down the scale to being a member of your family.
You already fit in. You're here. You've arrived. You're alive. You're breathing. You don't need to piece together an identity that's based on being some kind of patchwork personality. You're not a composition, an amalgam, a fusion together of all your different experiences and influences. You're not just someone's boss, someone's brother or sister, someone's friend, someone's parent or someone else's kid, or anybody's anything.
You are yourself.
There's also no need for you to jump through hoops or twist various things round trying to fit in - you already fit in with the grand scheme of things - and if other people don't like you or tell you that you don't fit in because you don't have the right skin colour, or ethnicity, or nationality, or gender, or you use a wheelchair to move around, or you love someone who's the same sex as you, you can kindly, and officially (from us) tell those people to go and screw themselves. You see the flip side of the whole human individuality coin is human diversity, which is just as natural and just as real as human individuality. Nobody is doing you any favours because they give you a special label in the name of so-called "equality" and the fact of the matter is that those labels exist not so much because you fit any of those labels, but have much more to do with the fact that a sizeable proportion of the human species just cannot deal with the reality of living on such a beautiful planet and such an amazing universe.
The fact of the matter is that whether or not you fit in is beyond discussion.
Just as diversity is the flip side of the human individuality coin then you being you cannot happen without an environment and a habitat. This is the fundamental basis of biology and the life sciences, the relationship between the organism and its environment because it is the relationship an organism has to its environment which determines its behaviour and how it connects to others. In order for you to be you, then you need to be in the right environment, the right habitat. This is explained more on our leading webpages but there is a kind of false sense of separateness which we all develop as a result of our social conditioning and this can often cause us to forget that we are a natural part of our environment, and our environment is a fundamental part of who we are as individuals.
Many people tend to see themselves as entirely separate beings, rather like a dummy (in the first image) with a head and limbs attached to a body, inside of which is a centre of consciousness or Ego, a sense of self, all encased in skin and completely separate from the environment and the world around us. There is no truth in this perception whatsoever. For a start your skin is arguably your most powerful of the primary senses and is actually an interface between your organism and the environment. You are not impervious to either extreme heat or extreme cold, which if either exists in your environment impacts directly on your body. You also need air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat, you also need shelter, comfort, so when you stop and think about it your environment is just as much a part of your individuality as your face, your eye colour and your fingerprint.
This distorted perception which comes out of believing in this false illusion of separateness can form serious challenges and hurdles if you're seeking to be yourself and emphasize your individuality more. For a start truth is relative to perception, because it is truth and experience through perception which develops perspective, so if your perception is skewed then you won't see the truth or be able to figure it out. If you cannot access your truth or figure it out then being yourself can actually work against you rather than in your favour. But then if you're blinded to the truth, you're probably also going to end up compensating by seeking approval and approbation rather than truth.
This is the need to be liked, the need for recognition, acknowledgement, attention, approval, or for external validation and for someone to tell you it's okay. This is something which tends to affect women more than men. When it comes to being yourself needing other people's approval can be incredibly debilitating and dis-empowering or basing your choices, decisions and actions on the opinion of other people and either adopting it or mistaking it for your own. The prime example here is social media, just to point out how widespread and pervasive this sort of thing is in society. This sort of culture and dis-empowerment can be socially destructive and toxic, because it is generally counter-productive when it comes to being yourself, finding yourself, developing empathy and connecting to other people.
You're never going to be without perception, because you have an active mind and with your mind comes perception. But you can actually become perception free and relatively non-judgmental by understanding that you can develop the conscious awareness to step back and decide how, and even whether or not your perceptions (because perception is transient) your perception and that what goes through your mind contributes to your perspective. While you may not control what goes through your mind, you have ultimate control over what becomes important in terms of your conscious perspective and individuality.
This comes down to how you want other people to perceive you and what you want other people's perception of you to be. This comes down to a straightforward choice, and this can apply to any situation, set of circumstances, or reality you find yourself in. What do you create out of that situation or those circumstances? Do you create a problem? Or do you create a possibility? The choice depends entirely on you. Most situations and circumstances you find yourself in can be transformed into one or the other. What do you want to create for other people - the problem or the possibility? This is not necessarily a straightforward or either or choice. Sometimes it can be fun to create a problem, or entirely necessary. Other times you don't want to be seen as the one with the problem, but would prefer to be the one who creates the possibility or the opportunity.
This also creates further choices and whether you want to move forward or move on, create new possibilities or you want to stay and create something new out of an existing situation. This is also about potential, about supposition, about progress. While there's a part of you that's like your backbone, there's also a part of you that's more like your wishbone. This is about the adaptive, constructive part of who you are, something else which is unique about you. There's nobody in the world who has the same experiences or influences that you have. Nobody else has your past or shares your story.
The story continues because you're constantly moving through time, and you keep changing. You might not see it as the fact that while you're living, you're also dying. Think about this. You can recall being a small child, right? But are you still a small child? Of course not. That little body you had with the runny nose and the squeaky voice has all gone, broken down into molecules and atoms and is repurposed elsewhere in the universe. Just as a snake sheds its skin periodically every seven years or so you lose enough body and brain cells to shed your complete body as new skin cells grow. Only the core of your being - the conscious perspective, the Principle that is the real you, remains and survives intact, growing more and more intense with age.
This also helps you avoiding being one of those people, you know the type, who will tell you that they have 25 years experience of doing something, but what they actually mean is that they have a one year's experience of doing something repeated 25 times. They literally repeat themselves over and over and over again, like dummies, like robots, like automatons, year after year after year after year. What you need to be thinking about is with each passing year your role is to be better, and better and better at being who you already are. This is not a cosmetic or superficial exercise. You are already different. The challenge here is to figure out how.
There are certain times in your life which will inevitably lead to change, or which will make change quicker, deeper, more profound. Sometimes in life you're not the one who's creating the change - it comes from elsewhere. This can be anything from losing a job, having to move, the loss of a relationship, or something on a much bigger scale such as a natural disaster, a change of government, civil unrest, economic collapse. Or it could be that you reach a point in your life where you know you have to make a choice, and you know that one way or the other, whichever choice you make, change is inevitable.
The opportunity can come to you in any number of ways. You meet someone at a party. Your boss offers you a new job. You may want to continue doing what you're already doing now, but you're also not sure. The only thing you know, is that once you make the change the speed, or pace, or even style of your life will change.
Most of these changes are generally traumatic, in fact most changes which come upon you are traumatic in some way and this is because most of us would rather sleepwalk our way through or take the path of least resistance until something happens and we are forced to take action or are forced to wake up and make a decision. This could be something impersonal, such as circumstances which lie well beyond your control, or something which is more personal - the loss of a job, a relationship, a friendship, you get sick, someone you love gets sick, but something happens which forces you back into your inner core being.
This can often cause you to ask the question, "Who am I?" But see if you're waiting until the times of adversity before you ask yourself this question, you're probably not going to get the best possible answer, because you might be distracted, weak, vulnerable. But what if you were to ask yourself all the time and to treat your answers as a mapping out of a path which makes up a journey towards being who you really are and finding your unique energy frequency from which you can vibrate out to and resonate with others?
The other thing about your Principle, your Core Being, your individual conscious perspective is that it lies at the very core of your being and is not only the most precious thing you possess, but is only the only thing you only get to truly own in society. It's the one thing that no Government or corporation, no matter how powerful they are, can ever take from you. Furthermore it's also the core ingredient for both empathy and compassion, and is what connects you ultimately to the people who matter the most to you in life. This is why it's always worthwhile investing in, cultivating and working on your inner Core Being.
It's the one thing that matters when you die, and this is because it's the only thing that matters in life.
Qultura is a system for figuring out your Principle and Process - the existential core of your life - through the development of empathy and community. The core principle and philosophy is simple and easy to learn.Learn more
The development of empathy is fundamental to human evolution. But to be capable of developing empathy you need to take off your societal mask and be real and prepared to live your truth.Learn more